Almost doesn't count... but

I never thought I'd be an "almost" person
But for a period of about a 2 weeks I was hit with "almost fever"
Have you ever had a phase of your life end, and when it was over, looked back and thought, "was that me?" or "Did I do really do that?"

I played horse-shoes once in my life. I gripped the gigantic metal shoe and launched it across a beach, much to my surprise it hit the pole and swung around it perfectly. "You can't get closer than that," I said casually and I walked away. I walked away containing the excitement! I had set out to a achieve something and accomplished it. It required no more effort or chasing. I Won.

But of course there is the reason I played with that stupid pop-up-clown-box toy when I was a child.

1. I know the scary-ass clown is going to jump out and scare the $hit out of me...
in other words; I know this thing is going to blow up in my face!

2. I continue to wind this thing up and I refuse to stop until it actually does Pop, every moment until seems so satisfying. Like; Ohh I'm getting away with this one! it won't blow up this time.

3. Finally: The Shit blows up and I love it. The fear and the excitement take me over and for a brief moment there is nothing but those feelings and everything else fades. I compose myself and decide to close the box... and start over (I know the outcome is the same, yet I expect different?)

I guess I could compare it to fishing. I don't fish!

I can't stand waiting around for life to bite my line! I don't have all day to lay in the sun and enjoy the time that is slipping through my hands.
I'd rather be hunting, I'd rather know that what I want is just around the corner and I'm hot on the trail with everything I need to disarm and capture!

I am Hardcore, I'm a "do-er" but for a while I became an "ALMOST-could have-might have-should have." I found the experience exciting. I loved the highs that came with each moment. It's just not for me.