The Crying Girl Outside The Bar

ME: You look like you're having a rough night
CRYBABY: I am
ME: Why are you crying?
CRYBABY: Cause I'm UGLY
ME: Who told you that?
CRYBABY: I did

and here's how I responded to that... I laughed (or chuckled) and asked her how old she was. She was 17 years old, standing outside a bar alone, crying because of her insecurities. At 17 I'd be more surprised if she didn't think she was ugly. In fact I wake up every other day feeling Ugly or Awesome, and I'm Hella older than 17. If you allow your insecurities to fester, they will grow and eat you alive, until you are no longer a person... you'll just be a walking self-destructive defense mechanism.

It made me think about all the silly bullshit you do to try and be accepted when you're younger, and how you get older and realize it was dumb to try and win over a bunch of people who are virtually dead to you now.

I went to taco bell the other day and from the second that I walked in people stared at me... and this continued for about 10 minutes (yeah it took that long) I had no idea why these people were just staring but of course my mind does the usual backflips:

I must have spilled something on my shirt
I must look like I'm from out of town
They think I have a beer belly
They think I'm too skinny
I didn't shave evenly
my shorts are too short
my legs and arms are too hairy
Is my hairline really that bad?
my fly is open, don't look down!!!
Can they tell I'm not wearing underwear?
Is my fly open, while I'm not wearing underwear?
Do people think I'm old?
Do I smell odd? am I wearing too much cologne?
Do I seem pathetic going to taco bell alone?

... and that's only the begining of the things that fly through my mind

The solution for me is an inner sense of:

If you are so intrigued by my outward appearance please refer to my facebook, there you will have the time to pick through my photos and think about whatever you like or don't like... for further critical concerns I am the proud owner of a penis, you wanna know more about it... it looks like a penis! If I'm too fat-skinny-tall-short or whatever to be in your local establishment... FUCK YOU.