Revenge of the Grammer NAZI... sometimes "No" means "Yes"

This week while watching two different shows, I found complete ignorance of the proper way to respond to the question:

DO YOU MIND IF... ?

One example, was during 90210.
One of the characters said to the other, "do you mind if I have some of your french fries?"

and the character that had the basket of fries said "YES!" and proceeded to hand his friend the basket of fries...clearly he meant "No I don't mind"

...

LESSON OF the DAY: when you respond to a "do you mind," question:


YES means... Yes I mind if you taste my ice cream. GIT up out my face begger!
No means... No, I don't mind if you have some of my ice cream. I have a whole basket and it would be real piggish if I didn't share with a pal.



EXAMPLE 2:

Question - Do you mind if I sleep with your spouse?

CORRECT RESPONSE: Yes I mind. How dare you ask me that!!! Git up out my face whore!
INCORRECT RESPONSE: NO!