About This Blog - MOTCS

Random Musings Pertaining to Music and Pop Culture

Monday, November 23, 2009

Celine Dion Million dollar Antichrist

Question: How does Celine keep her voice so clear and powerful?
Answer: At the end of each Sabbath she has her minions bring her a group of ~10 virgins, then she begins to sing and the Devil tells her in her ear, which virgin is ripe. Then she has the lucky winner bled and during the following week she gargles with and drink their blood. She can't eat real food, it's a condition of the pact she made with Satan.


Question: Can Celine Dion Really levitate?
Answer: Yup, she has to hold her hand in an awkward position and then she just takes off into the sky... I think she uses these powers on Christmas, when she pretends to be Santa in order to kidnap children for Barbra Streisand to eat.



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And the take home message is... If you sing a song and it makes someone cry, they will become the million dollar antichrist
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"I do not know if you remember the tale of the girl who saves the ship under mutiny by sitting on the powder barrel with her lighted torch and all the time knowing that it is empty? This has seemed to me a charming image of the women of my time. There they were, keeping the world in order by sitting on the mystery of life, and knowing themselves that there was no mystery."