I'm terribly sorry to hear about your accident.
The one that you probably don't remember cause you bumped your head sooooo hard.
So hard in fact, you may have forgotten who I am.
The same accident that left you with little to no use of your hands.
The same accident that broke your dialing finger
... and I'm going to go a little further out on this limb and say you broke your nose too... cause I saw a show on pbs and this girl with no arms was doing things with her nose... and she ate with her feet, which brings up alot of sanitary questions in my mind...Feet are not hands.
While driving one dark night I came across a drunken man in the road... I got out of the car and ran to help him (sort of), because I was sure you had decided to walk to my house to tell me, you lost my number. Upon discovering that you were not the man in the road, I left him there.
But let me assure you... if it had been you laying in the gutter like that, I would have written my number on a little piece of paper for you... right before I left you there to... Ummm well I'm not exactly sure of what happened to the man so let's move on.
I miss the good times we had... so it's truly unfortunate that you:
were kidnapped by aliens
were killed and dropped deep into the ocean
were drafted (though I don't remember a draft being in effect)
disappeared to a magical island (a la LOST)
are being held hostage by pirates from Somalia
left the country to find me that $1/hour maid that I've always dreamed of having
have been possessed by the powers of Celine
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