Lindsay Lohan breaks down in court... doesn't understand that weekly therapy means go once a week!!!

On July 20th the world will improve a little... Lindsay Lohan will be in jail. YAY!

The judge has sentenced Lindsay Lohan to 90 days in prison for violation of her parole, stemming from her 2007 drunk driving escapade. Her lawyer is Shawn Chapman Holley but for all intents and purposes I will refer to the two as LiLo and Black Female Jesus.

In Video 1 the court reads her sentence and the conditions... You will want to watch LiLo grab onto her lawyer's arm and look up as if that lady is Lindsay's own personal BLACK FEMALE JESUS. Then she looks around the court room like, BLACK FEMALE JESUS save me please!

at around 1:3o the Judge says she wants a Doctor to interview LiLo and determine if her prescriptions and alcohol will compromise her health and safety... and it's at this moment that Lindsay Barks/Sobs, "Nooo!"

at this point her Lawyer (Black Female Jesus) won't even look at Lindsay, who keeps crying in her ear... and BLACK FEMALE JESUS is like, "Bitch if you don't stop sobbin in my God damned ear!"

At 2:3o Lindsay gets inspired and starts writing intently in red pen while the judge is talking... writing a poem called "BLACK FEMALE JESUS You Have Failed Me!"

I present Video 2, in which Lohan Addresses the court...LMAO!

This Video is particularly funny because...

1. Miss Lohan thinks that going to counseling three times in one week can make up for her missing the extra two sessions the following week... which makes me think... Stick with being a lesbian Lindsay, cause with logic like that... you wouldn't be good at the birth control game.
2. Miss Lohan has opted for a more conservative look to make her appear serious in court... but she obviously forgot to remove her super festive mardi gras nail polish!!! Scratch and sniff margarita nails!!
3. I'm pretty sure the judge is thinking, "If I wanted to see you act I would watch one of your movies."